A lot of the horrible situations we get ourselves into in life can probably be avoided. I say ‘probably’ as some situations are unavoidable and are part of our inevitable refining process.

Sometimes in life we feel that we’re above going through certain situations. We go along life saying statements such as ‘Boy, that’ll never happen to me because my parents never brought up an idiot’ and we look at others situations and say ‘How can you not see that’s a bad decision’ and well, the list goes on. What we fail to realise is that when a situation that will most likely lead to a destructive outcome arises, by the time realisation hits you, you’re more than likely already in it.

You’ve missed all the signs and red flashing lights that screamed at you on the path to this ill decision. You became blinded by emotion or experienced some sort of tunnel vision. Either way you failed to look at the bigger picture, which tends to show something is wrong. To keep us oblivious to the situation at hand, we focus on that one small glimmer of hope in a situation and hold and hone onto that as a reason why it can’t be all that bad.

If you see a red flag, stop (and if you have the strength…run).

A lot of people say they need to make the mistake in order to learn, but it’s not every day learn the hard way. We must all realise that some mistakes or bad choices have costly effects and some of us need to start saving and stop spending our emotions.

No one is perfect, no one makes the right decision all of the time. But you are truly insulting your own intelligence when you know something isn’t right but you refuse to acknowledge it. Easier said than done, I know, but if you are in a situation like such I’ve planted the seed for thought so HA!! – no avoiding this red flag.

Remember:  “It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time. People say ‘It’s as plain as the nose on your face.’ But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you?” Isaac Asimov


I’m not sure if the key to success here is being humble or using wisdom…either way the point is stop talking and let the fruits of your labour do the talking for you.

Let me give you a little anecdote my mum used to tell me (see Mum I do listen!!):

When you’re baking a one-of-a-kind/original/inventive cake, at what point do you show people the cake? And at what point do you tell people the recipe?

Let’s imagine you’ve been telling others the cake is on its way, you’ve even gone as far to call it a ‘shut-down’ and you’ve told people not to @ you when this cake is made. The cake has been in the oven for a mere 10 minutes, but you’ve gassed it up so much that people want to see it (and deep down you want to show them), so you continue to open the oven to show its advancement. The golden-rule of cake baking is never to open the oven in the first 3 quarters of the baking process. You see if you are baking a cake and continually open the oven to show its progress, you stunt the process of the cake rising. After all your hype, is it not pretty embarrassing moreover a shame to see that the end product is substandard or non-existent? Isn’t it better to wait till the cake is made before showing and telling people that this is the greatest cake ever to be made? The moral of the story is – it is better to show off the final product and share the tried and tested process when you’ve gained credibility.

As a young person, there’s a lot of pressure to do the most. And quite frankly, I think it’s a good thing. Why not aim to be the best? But one thing as a generation we must understand is that stunting about your Twitter followers, retweets, your latest camel coat or any other materialistic thing is not ‘doing the most’. In fact, it’s doing just the opposite because you’re priding yourself in things that only matter at a certain stage of life (usually in the little university bubble that many people live in).

If an employer asks “What set’s you apart from the other candidates?”,  you cannot respond with “My twitter follower to following ratio is kinda mad still” and hope they respond with “Hmm, this definitely shows you strive to be the best amongst your peers”. With an example like that, you might as well start the interview with “Aight boom.”

The point is take pride in what matters, long term. Being happy, your relationship with God, your education (not just the book-smart kind), your steps in your career path and any positive impact you make to our lost society. Note I said take pride in, not be proud. Galatians 6 verse 3 says ‘If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves’. Humility is the way forward.

Celebrate the successes as and when they occur, I celebrate with you, but just remember nobody became successful by talking about it. Success comes with a dream and decisive action.

Remember:You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.’ – Zig Ziglar

‘You don’t know me…’

One thing that really grates on me is people telling me who I am, what I’m thinking and all the rest of the things they possibly couldn’t know unless they were God. I don’t understand how people can confidently say things about my character because they know one or two measly facts about my life.

I’m not going to lie sometimes people assuming they know you like that can be quite favourable e.g I like reading…so someone may say ‘Peda’s always reading, she’s so intelligent that girl’ in which case I’ll (in spirit) respond with gratitude. But most of the time it pans out like this – Peda goes to one rave and these types of people will usually say ‘Yeah she’s quite the party animal you know, like she’s at most raves…come let me show you this picture of her at Adrenaline’ (the one rave I attended the whole year!!!) These are examples and I did not attend Adrenaline however I do like reading so please feel free to think I’m intelligent.

The point I’m trying to make is ‘You don’t know me bisssh!’ *clicks fingers and flicks weave*

You cannot take a truth or fabricated information and create a whole story that aligns well with your perceived image of someone and then go and open your mouth and be telling people about another person’s character when you don’t know them. This is how, if you’re on the receiving end of this higgy-hagga story, you can end up thinking someone’s a cow when you haven’t even had one conversation with them and you’re already screwing them in anticipation that they may screw you.

I used to care so much about how I came across to people and I still do, but more in a way that I can be quite blunt and I’m conscious that just because I can take it doesn’t mean another can.

Anyway, whenever someone is trying to defame your character or you hear a cheeky rumour about yourself that you know isn’t true just remember ‘THEY DON’T KNOW YOU!’ They don’t. (And yes this may be the same ‘They’ that Khaled refers to.) Ignore the opinions of irrelevant people because there are too many of them in life. Get a core circle of friends and family around you that can vouch for your character and give you that reality check when needed – everyone else’s opinions are just white noise.

You have no control over how others perceive or feel about you but the one thing you do have control over is how you deal with their opinions. Be who you are and not who they want you to be and everything will be A1.

Remember: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch

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