At least once a month I’m let down. To be honest it’s probably more frequent than that but unless it was big, I’m not one to remember these things. At several points in your life you’ll be let down by others or even be a let-down to others. It’s just part of life and something I’ve come to accept cannot be avoided. I admire men and women of their word. It’s a beautiful thing for your ‘yes’ to be yes and your ‘no’ to be no. In my head it’s so simple, if you say you’re going to do something – do it. Otherwise don’t say anything. Using words like ‘definitely’ and ‘100 percent’ show full commitment to something, they’re sign-off words showing completion (whether actioned or pending) and so it’s not surprising when others expect a result. Easier said than done, trust me, I know – hence why I write this for my benefit and hopefully yours.
If you find yourself letting people down on a regular basis then the following notes are for you:
- Do not fully commit to something if there’s an iota of doubt – using phrases like ‘I’ll see’ or ‘I’ll try my best’ can actually avoid disappointment as it informs the other person that there’s a possibility you may not come through on the agreed action.
- Prioritise effectively – do not waste time on the unimportant things in life because you end up side-lining the things and people that matter. Spend your time wisely, in my opinion there’s 16 actionable hours in a day, you can make time for the things that matter.
- Hedge the let-down – if you’ve agreed to call/Skype/Face Time a friend but you haven’t got the time, then send a courteous text to let them know you haven’t forgotten but to reschedule for another time.
If you find yourself feeling let down on a regular basis then the following notes are for you:
- Lower your expectations of people – now you don’t have to make them aware that you’ve lowered them (unless you’re about that name and shame life) but realise that just because you’d do something for someone doesn’t mean they’d do it for you. We get upset because we put the people we love and care about on pedestals and so when they let us down, it cuts deep. Take people off the pedestals and line them up instead with your nearest and dearest first in line that way there’s no drop and as a result it will be less of a let-down.
- ‘Make excuses for people’ – something my Pastor said that resonated with me. If someone said they’ll meet you at 7 and turns up at 8, just say to yourself that the traffic on their 10 minute walk must have been really bad because there’s no way they would have intentionally had you waiting on them for an hour. Silly anecdote, I know, but you’ll be less easily let-down if you make excuses for people that may or may not have deliberately set out to upset you.
Remember: ‘Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?’ – Isaiah 2:22
And for the non-believers out there…
‘The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.’ – Bob Marley